The Fear Of The Dummy

During one of my NCT classes, Chris and I were clearly the couple standing on the side of the room of 'no dummies' leading the dummy snobs all the way.  So at three months old watching Poppy happily sucking away at one was quite a shock.

I had a real thing about it, mostly embarrassment.  Poppy was only allowed a clear dummy none of those bright colourful patterned ones and was only able to use it at certain times.  It came about because all she wanted to do was suck.  Literally! Time and time again, I found myself breast feeding for hours at a time, only for Poppy to start crying each time I pulled her away because she was clearly being comforted.  I can't remember whose idea it was,  but we tried giving her one and it was like magic.  Breast feeding times were cut down so much and Poppy seemed so much happier.

Poppy was the first of just two of her pals that regularly had a dummy.  I always found I needed to justify it (mostly to myself) why she had one.  No one ever said anything but I definitely felt judged.  One of the many things that the world of motherhood does to you.

Poppy is currently 16 months old and still uses her dummy. (I can hear the gasp from your voice!)  We are lucky that it has only ever been a day time thing and have never had to use it at night.  She uses it for her day time naps so I've never pushed to drop it as I know that these naps will eventually drop and so will the dummy.  So what happens next, will she be one of those four year olds that has it hanging out of their mouth whilst talking like a baby? Or maybe the clear discreet style will change to Peppa Pig and oink.  Most likely a big fat no to both of those examples but thankfully I no longer care.  We still use our discretion tightly with the dummy and always will.  But it definitely has taught me a lesson of not to judge those parents that use them.

Nap Time With Her Pals

Breast Feeding Love it or Hate it

Where do you start! My blog alone could be just about this topic.  Firstly I have to say that I am really not bothered how other mums feed their babies.  Breast feeding, express or formula... nothing to do with me.  This post is my journey.

Having big boobs myself the thought of breast feeding was terrifying and I was definitely not a fan of the thought of wapping my baps out in public.  But the further into my pregnancy I got, the more I hoped I could feed her.  I was so lucky that she and I took to it like duck to water.  Almost immediately after giving birth she latched on and fed away, I didn't even have to do anything.

I tried giving her a expressed bottle around two months but she had no interest at all.  As the months wore on I found breast feeding getting harder and harder.  I felt Poppy was scrambling all the time as if she couldn't get enough.  But as the NHS guidelines suggest six months, that's what I wanted to do.  I know now that sounds ridiculous, but I think there is a lot of pressure for first time mums and that's how I felt.  So at five months, I tried the bottle again but this time we tried formula milk.  Just like the weaning process she didn't bat an eyelid what she was drinking.  She downed seven ounces in a few moments.  I knew straight away she was ready to come off the boob.  In less than two weeks she was off.  I couldn't believe it and she was drinking way more than ever before.  I continued to express over the next couple of weeks and thankfully finished breast feeding without any issues.

I did feel a huge sense of guilt about giving Poppy formula milk before she was six months old.  I wonder if this was connected with my hormones as I was in the process of stopping breast feeding which I did feel a sense of sadness about.  But when I did, I was so glad that I made that choice.  Now if I think about this, I feel really cross with myself because its easy to forget the fact that she had five months exclusive and that itself is a wonderful thing.  If I'm ever lucky to breast feed again I certainly won't be thinking about the six month guideline and if I want to stop for me or the baby, I certainly won't let society influence me.

Two day old Poppy and a rarely seen me in glasses!

Cupcake Course

As a new baker and armed with my fresh new Mary Berry cook books (thanks Chris!)  I really wanted to learn how to ice cupcakes.  Not the ones with the runny icing dripping down the cases you make when you are five with your mum, but the swirly full on butter icing cupcakes that make you drool at the mouth.

My course was two hours long and took place with 59 other people in the hottest room in the world.  Despite what this sounds like, I found it really fun and useful.  I had already purchased some Wilton nozzles before hand and had some practice making them for parties I've hosted recently, but I needed someone to show me.  The course was great and I learnt different techniques including a 'rose' and general 'swirly' icing.  I also had practice in making different cupcake toppers.  It's definitely given me the confidence to carry on making them.  Just need to make sure I have someone else to eat them! Bloody diet!

Flowers

Cookie monster

Ballerina

Rose

Bumble Bee

Butterfly

Weaning Little Bubba

I was very lucky when I weaned Poppy onto solids.  It was an easy process and fun for both of us.  Like a true sucker for routines I followed Annabel Karmel to the T and it worked. (Except baby rice - seriously there was no way I was giving that!)

Of course I'm no saint and there were times when Poppy kicked off and decided there was no way she was going eat the slop on her spoon, but I truly believe it worked so well because I waited until she was ready and not because I wanted her to wean.  I've watched other mums pretty much forcing the spoon in their babies mouth when the baby is clearly not interested or struggling - leaving the poor mum in despair.  

So trying where possible to avoid this, at four months I decided to try three pieces of fruit with her over three days, she ate it all but I could tell she didn't understand what she was doing.  So I waited another month and started again.  Completely different and she gobbled it down, kicking her legs waiting for more.

Having weight problems of my own I was and am very keen for Poppy to have a head start to healthy eating.  Even now at 15 months she has only ever had home made healthy food with milk or water.  (Unless my husband is slipping some weekend treats in whilst I am away!)  To most parents this is very normal, but I've been very surprised how many mums I've met don't follow this (healthy cooking not the sneaky treats!).  I'm aware this probably makes me sound like one of those annoying mums I can't stand who think they are superior and high almighty about their parenting skills, which honestly I'd like to think I'm not.  I'm just very fussy about my child eats.

I thank my lucky stars that Poppy is a very good eater and generally quite clean. She wasn't the type of babe that liked waste so I didn't experience the food throwing on the floor, flying onto walls or even down herself.  I'm also not stupid and aware that things change.  But so far so good!

Me: Learning to cope with mess = Poppy: Loving it!

Fathers Day

So the big day is here.. and we are off to Church!  *Haha* I give a very small chuckle at the thought of this.  But it is the Christening of our lovely mini friend George, so - its a pleasure!

Upon our return and a three hour nap for Poppy having burned herself out at God's pleasure, then back at Laura's house running wild.  Time to put up the bunting and get the presents out.  (Serious bunting addiction going on here!)

The main gift was a Scrabble frame.  I bought a large selection of spare scrabble pieces from Ebay and stuck them down on a frame that I purchased from Ikea (my house is full of them all different shapes and sizes.  Love them!)  Very cheap idea, yet different.

Scrabble Frame

I bought the glass candle holder from Wilkinson for the grand price of £1, removed the wax and cleaned it up.  I had some left over tags from Christmas and filled up the glass with his favorite nuts.  Again quick and easy. 

All Daddys love the nuts

It was unlikely I could give a box of gifts without including a few beers.  So I printed out some free printables I found online to cover up the beer labels and cut out some wine bottle tags.  All keeping with the Fathers Day theme.  It looked that good, Chris thought that was how I purchased them so I was quite pleased!

Wine Bottle Tags

Free Printables

A few extra bits and pieces including a T-shirt for Poppy to wear (which unfortunately having been out all day in a posh outfit followed by the longest snooze in the world, it wasn't to be worn).  Also a novelty chocolate coin and of course a Fathers Day Bee footprint card.  (Seriously what else would he want!)  Happy Fathers Day to Chris! xx

Poppy's New T-Shirt

Fathers Day Footprint Card

Every Father Needs Chocolate in his Life!

The Finished Product

Photography Course

I've always really enjoyed taking photographs, now with Poppy in the world I am like the paparazzi.  I love taking portraits in particular.  Chris recently bought me a Canon Digital SLR camera with lots of pretty buttons.  So I went on a one day photography course to try and get to grips with how on earth you use the god damn thing.  Point and click is about as far as I go.

A hot sunny day on the Bristol harbourside and I'm sweating on the amphitheatre steps listening the to guy drone on about aperture, speed shutters, depth of field and optics and I'm nearly passing out from the sun.  This aside it was a good day and I now know a (little) bit more, but its all practice. 

It was nice to be outside and take photos of the beauty that is Bristol.  However upon return, my lack of decent photos to show Chris was disappointing.  So on with the show, I am now armed with a bit more knowledge and have my very own mini model at my disposal.  Watch this space!

Hi there!

30th Bucket List

The only things I wanted to achieve before I was thirty years old was to get married, buy a house and have babies!  

Time was running out and I needed to get me scates on!  I got engaged after five years of dating Chris and we purchased our first house the same month.  18 months later of hard labour of living in hell we renovated our house into a beautiful home.  Piling our savings (yes I am the saving queen!) into this renovation, we then tied the knot at the lovely Folly Farm in Bristol.  Two ticks and one to go...

Poppy was our very own wedding gift, born nine months to the day after we married.  For some unknown reason I was convinced that I couldn't have children.  Probably because I wanted to be a mother so badly.  On return from our honeymoon I was already four weeks pregnant which was quite a shock followed by overwhelming happiness that our dream had come true.

It wasn't all plain sailing though, the next eight months were terrible.  Me and pregnancy were a big no-no.  The next two months I was off work feeling like I was never going to make the end of the pregnancy.  I honestly cannot recall a single day where I felt well.  I was constantly feeling sick and had lower back ache.  Poor Chris, he put up with so much grief from me and we were still newly weds.

I must say, I may have felt like I had a pregnancy from hell but my birth was a dream and I would be happy to do that ten times again than to go through the same pregnancy.

My due date had been and gone and the baby was showing no signs of coming.  So +3 days overdue and I woke up at 4am in the spare room.  We spent almost all of my labour in here, getting through the contractions with our music on in the back ground and a TENS machine strapped to my lower back.  I knew it was time to go so we drove in the car, me laying in the back and suddenly that moment came.  People tell you, when that moment comes, you know when to push.  My god did I. So there I was in the car pushing away to then arrive at the maternity ward only to be told they were full.  You don't discuss that scenario during your NCT classes thats for sure!

Without the gory details, I was giving birth in the waiting room, a midwife finally comes over to say they have a side room with just a bed and no equipment.  So literally with my baby's head crowing I ran (yes ran!) to this bed, jumped on, legs around Chris and out she comes, 25 minutes after the car pulling up.

So there was my final tick at the age of 29.  The bucket list complete.  Chris and I worked so hard to achieve what we have and it's taken years for us to get where we are.  I really do believe that if you want something in life, then it is achieveable.  But don't expect it to be handed to you on a plate. 

Celebrating my 30th on holiday with my family!