Having big boobs myself the thought of breast feeding was terrifying and I was definitely not a fan of the thought of wapping my baps out in public. But the further into my pregnancy I got, the more I hoped I could feed her. I was so lucky that she and I took to it like duck to water. Almost immediately after giving birth she latched on and fed away, I didn't even have to do anything.
I tried giving her a expressed bottle around two months but she had no interest at all. As the months wore on I found breast feeding getting harder and harder. I felt Poppy was scrambling all the time as if she couldn't get enough. But as the NHS guidelines suggest six months, that's what I wanted to do. I know now that sounds ridiculous, but I think there is a lot of pressure for first time mums and that's how I felt. So at five months, I tried the bottle again but this time we tried formula milk. Just like the weaning process she didn't bat an eyelid what she was drinking. She downed seven ounces in a few moments. I knew straight away she was ready to come off the boob. In less than two weeks she was off. I couldn't believe it and she was drinking way more than ever before. I continued to express over the next couple of weeks and thankfully finished breast feeding without any issues.
I did feel a huge sense of guilt about giving Poppy formula milk before she was six months old. I wonder if this was connected with my hormones as I was in the process of stopping breast feeding which I did feel a sense of sadness about. But when I did, I was so glad that I made that choice. Now if I think about this, I feel really cross with myself because its easy to forget the fact that she had five months exclusive and that itself is a wonderful thing. If I'm ever lucky to breast feed again I certainly won't be thinking about the six month guideline and if I want to stop for me or the baby, I certainly won't let society influence me.
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| Two day old Poppy and a rarely seen me in glasses! |
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